An Afternoon With Monogamy

Bernadette squinted through the mini blinds as a middle-aged woman approached her shop. A typical client.

Frizzy fine red hair and blue veins that showed through her translucent skin even during the Summer.

So distraught that she didn’t bother to wear makeup; her face red from crying.


“Are you psychic medium Bernadette?” Karen asked, as she tried to smooth out her hair and yoga pants.


For three long seconds Bernadette could feel the infidelity from Karen’s partner take over the room. The grief felt more debilitating than the flu.

“Ale vou zan!” she screamed as she waved her hand to dismiss this meaningless energy.


Bernadette nodded and assumed the best position. Her right hand waved out her tarot cards in a single elegant gesture.


Before the front door fully closed Karen’s request came out like a burp: “I need a binding spell.”


Maybe it was the way the afternoon had affected Bernadette with its bored haze or perhaps it was the fact that Karen had arrived after closing.

She sometimes found enjoyment at the opportunity to act naive to these requests.

“A binding spell? For your child’s health? Or is it for financial success?”


“For my husband, Charles Lowell. My friend Cheryl..She does my chakra healing on Wednesdays and she told me that you could help.”


Now it was Bernadette’s duty to give her the warning spiel.

Oh Goddess, help these ridiculous people!

“Do you realize the consequences of this? You will risk setting your soul off track from what you blueprinted for your current life. It could be permanent.”


Karen’s eyes welled up; her skin reddened on her face and chest “I have to do this. I’m already researching a voodoo ritual to bind him myself.”


Bernadette endearingly rolled her eyes.

She should have never moved her business to a white neighborhood. Now she spent her days remedying sour marriages and talking to dead pets.


“You will do no such thing. Sit down.”

They sat in silence as Bernadette lit her candles.

Karen looked at the card table in amazement “I have some of his hair, if that would help.”

“Keep his hair on his head.The price to do this is sixty dollars.


Now chant these words in English with me, nine times.”


They clasped hands. Bernadettes cool palms pressed tightly against Karen’s warm and sweaty ones.


“Charles Lowell.

You are mine and I am yours.

Leave everyone behind, since you are only mine and I am the only one for you.

You would love only me and be loyal as a dog towards me, and will never think of anyone else except me.

Charles Lowell.”


They both swayed and Bernadette’s eyes widened as she mumbled the final chant.


“Charles Lowell.  

Humbakkakum Thumbakkum

Thumbbakkum Thinakna

Meria Meria Humbakkakum Thumbakkum Thinkakna

Charles Lowell.”


Bernadette felt the astral plane quiver as she removed Karen’s potential influence from thousands of souls on earth. She removed two potential children and a fierce, pure love that would have existed between her and a future coworker while at a successful job at a law firm that she would no longer obtain.


All this sacrifice to be binded in this lifetime to this "Charles Lowell".


Whom, from what she could sense, would spend the majority of his time alive with the same self-involved characteristics and pompous demeanor.

These ridiculous people.


“You are now binded during this lifetime.”


Tears began to pour down Karen’s face. Little lines of snot funneled onto her lips.


“Estipid” Bernadette whispered in Haitian Creole, under her breath.